Cancer

It's been a couple of months.
I found out I probably had cancer and then found out I didn't. 2 operations and lots of stress later - I'm back. Oddly unaffected it seems. Well - people expect me to be 'normal' again. They ask me if I'm "all better" or tell me I look "back to normal". But what is normal after you have thought you could be dying? It has to change you. Something is wrong if it doesn't I think.

The more I learn, the more I learn
The more I cry, the more I cry
as I say goodbye to a way of life I thought I had designed for me

And I see you standing there, wanting more from me.
And all I can do is try.
And I see you standing there, I'm all I'll ever be,
and all I can do is try.
Nelly Furtado